Excerpt from Leftovers

As he finished his wine, she reached out her hand for his glass.

“Want some more?” she asked coyly.

“I don’t think so.  I’m starting….to feel a little….dizzy.”  Stephen’s head began to shift side to side, and his eyes began to droop.

“One more wouldn’t hurt.”  She studied his expression.  He tried looking around, but his head rocked back and forth.

“No.  I sh-sh-shouldn’t.”  She watched him moving in and out of reality.  Stephen’s eyesight went from dark to light to dark again.  He couldn’t fixate his gaze.

“What…is going…on?”

Melissa sat up straight and let out a sigh.

“It’s the rohypnol, darling.  I can’t have you awake.  Not for what I’m about to do to you.”  She brushed his dangling hair from his eyes and then gazed out into the living room with a dreamy-eyed smile.

“You were perfect.  No friends, just moved here, slowly moving up in the world.  A real catch.  I would’ve been crazy to let you get away from me.”  She looked over and noticed he was trying to say something.  She leaned in closer to his mouth, and he only had the strength to utter one word.

“Bitch.”

Stephen dropped the glass on the floor, and his grasp on reality was forever gone.  She leaned in and observed him to make sure he was completely out.

“Helloooo?  Anybody home?”  She snapped her fingers in front of his face.  Nothing.

She closed in and whispered in his ear.  “And I believe you…are…out.”

She gave him a small kiss on the cheek, picked up his glass, and went to the kitchen to clean up the leftovers.  Even through his unconsciousness, she carried on her conversation.

“I was really hesitant to invite you over so quickly, but you just had a humble air about you.  You had all the characteristics I look for.  Young, naïve, eager.  I knew you wouldn’t say no to me.  Most guys like you don’t.”

About Violet VanDoren

Violet is my name, and horror is my game. I read it, write it, and watch as much grindhouse/horror that I can get my hands on. However, I wouldn't say I'm an expert. I'm forever a student in the art of gore. As far as writing goes, I've touched on it here and there in the past. I've had some change-of-life experiences happen to me and then out of nowhere....BOOM! The call of being a horror writer exploded into my life. Yeah, don't ask. Too many details, too little time. I may post some excerpts once in a while just to tease you. If my writing fits your fancy then maybe you'll buy my books when they get published. I'll definitely keep you posted. If there's a book or movie title you think I would enjoy, don't hesitate to swing it my way!

Posted on January 26, 2014, in My Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Excellent. My only editorial suggestions here would be to change “in and out of reality ” to “in and out of consciousness” and to remove the word “Most” from Melissa’s statement “Most guys like you don’t.” You may want to just have her say “Guys like you don’t.” It’s got a more assertive quality that fits her overall demeanor, which you have clearly established as one of self confidence at this point.

    Otherwise, this is rock solid. I love how you describe her explaining what’s happening to him, including brushing the hair from his eyes and the dreamy eyed smile as she stares off into the living room. Those little details make it more plausibe and put me right in the moment.

    I came across this link on the HNR Facebook page today . It’s a short horror story submission opportunity .When you feel you’re ready, maybe you can send Leftovers to them. It doesn’t pay, but it would give you wider exposure.

    http://massacrepublishing.com/2013/12/22/arise-spring-edition-submission-call/

  2. My apologies. It appears I didn’t read the fne print closely enough. The publication which that link I provided leads to is accepting submissions that specfically carry the theme of resurrection , not just any type of horror stories. My bad!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: